I really like a Twitter trend #ShoterHR. The idea is to write HR policy in 140 characters or less. Below are some of the best examples together with a number of my own contributions.
This exercise also has a serious point. It would be a major step forward if HR policy could be written in clear and easy to understand English.
Here is a mixture of the funny and the serious.
Death benefit; You die, we pay.
Don’t sack pregnant women, ever. @ http://twitter.com/ljanstis
Deferred bonus: no bread today, maybe jam tomorrow.
Restrictive covenants: Don’t nick our clients, staff or supplies. Or, our price list. http://twitter.com/daniel_barnett
Fire prevention policy: Don’t light fires in the office.
Health and safety: Oh for goodness sake, just be careful won’t you! http://twitter.com/DamsonHR
Retirement age policy: Holding back the years.
Mobile phone policy: Switch it off, http://twitter.com/imhrplus
Personal hygiene policy: No no to BO
Equal Opportunities Policy: Treat everyone fairly and the same, Always. http://twitter.com/JacksonT0ny
Drug abuse policy: no sniffing, no injecting,
Relationships at work policy: Don’t screw the crew. @davidmorganllb
Employee Share scheme: Buy our discounted shares. We prosper, you prosper.
Dress code: you are not clubbing, gardening or at the beach. NB. For lawyers, or going to a funeral. http://twitter.com/rarfarr
IT Support policy: Turn it off, then turn it on.
H R Policy: Be sensible (To replace all policies). @HR_Gem
HR Job descriptions:
HR Manager: Gandhi + Jedi Master
Reward Manager: Gandalf + Dr Who
Training Manager; Peter Pan + Seb Coe
Compromise Agreement: It’s not that we don’t like you, but here is some money, now go away. (Adapted from @dds180)
Clear Desk Policy: Nothing on top after working hours.
Sabbatical leave policy: we will not pay for your mid-life crisis. Enjoy Goa, See you in six months. @beth_Marie
Cycle to work policy: On yer Bike. @davidmorganllb
Industrial Action: Worker unpaid inaction.
I have tried to credit the originator – but it is not always clear who originally wrote these. If you know better let me know. Those not attributed are mine.
If you have better #shorterhr please add in the comments.